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Why do I lean toward men with controlling personalities? Does it have something to do with the fact that my Father was controlling and things had to be his way? Or... do I seem to always attract men that want me to become the strong one in the relationship? Was my Mother the domineering force in our family and subconsciously I believe that's how relationships work. Weak men tend to seek out strong females.
Everything you do comes from habits you've practiced through the years and those began inside your childhood. They are so ingrained and some so buried you don't even notice you are living on automatic pilot. How often have you said or heard phrases such as this, "Why do I always end up with the jerks?"
"There are no nice guys left." "There should be something wrong beside me because every guy I meet turns out to be a loser!"
There's a reason you attract certain people into your life. There is a reason your needs are the way they're. It is not by accident. It is not that you're living within dark cloud and bad things just seem to always happen to you.
To see just where your head is at, please consider the following statements and find out how many have to do with thoughts you have frequently:
1. I feel I have to change my personality in order for people to like me. 2. I don't feel as smart since many people I are exposed to. 3. I try to look confident, but inside I feel like a fraud. 4. Deep inside I don't feel worth a great guy. I want one, but what would he want with me? 5. I do not really believe my future will be any better than my past. These are the cards I acquired dealt. 6. I spend lots of money on my appearance and clothes hoping I'll come off as sophisticated, polished and assured. 7. So many people in my family have explained I'm not outgoing or good at social skills, so they must be right. My nickname in my family was "Wallflower." 8. Senior high school was a nightmare. I had been made fun of rather than got to hang out with the popular crowd. I still seem like I'm back in HS and trying to measure up. 9. If I am successful and have a nice house, nice car, nice clothes along with a good-looking or rich guy, then I am worthy. I will be admired. 10. I will be alone for the rest of my life. None of my dates have worked out. Guys don't want to be with me.
These kind of thoughts tell you all of our minds at one time or another. We're human... we've doubts. Some of us came from families where we were told regularly that we didn't compare well. Some of us were in incredibly hard situations that will need professional help to rid ourselves of the fear, guilt, shame and negative filter through which we view life.
But we are able to be a different person. We absolutely can! We are able to choose our thoughts which will in turn change the environment and our happiness level. It's not necessary to keep those old tapes that keep playing over and over in your head just like a demonized video tape on one continuous loop.
Before you go to bed tonight, have a piece of paper and jot down how you would advertise yourself should you be a product you had been trying to sell someone. What does your outer package look like? What type of buyer would it attract? What are your "keywords" to market your best attributes? INTELLIGENT! ATHLETIC! COMPASSIONATE! FOCUSED! ANIMAL LOVER!
I want you to picture yourself like a box. Exactly what does the outside of your box look like? Does it pop with color or perhaps is it more subdued? What words have you got in big BOLD type to draw in your buyer? What pose have you choose for your head shot? Demur? Confident? Are you currently in a business suit, or carrying a tennis racquet with sweat bands? Are you currently wearing a plunging neckline along with a "Come hither" look? Now... what's inside the box? Think hard! What are your contents which will entice someone to take a closer look? Jot down words your pals would use to explain you. What are you the most proud of? Create the package you are feeling you have to offer at this time!